Every feminist I know is heart-and-soul committed to GLBT rights as well. That pro-gay rights stance started with N.O.W. (I think) more years ago than I care to remember. N.O.W. understood, even if the membership didn’t exactly (esp. at the time), that it’s all of a piece, that sexism and homophobia are intertwined and inseparable. In fact, homophobia is a subset of misogyny, or as one bright feminist put it:
Nikia
79. I agree that homophobia is rooted in sexism
If the worst thing that a man can be is like a woman, what does it make women?
Sadly, too many of our gay brothers don’t see it, and/or don’t much care about the plight of women at all, anyway. Too many of them forget about sexism completely — I mean COMPLETELY! There are no oppressed women in their minds — perhaps no women at all, not even lesbiansm quite possibly. And frankly, I have nothing but contempt for those gay men who behave that way.
Here’s one example. After a lengthy exchange with dimwit homophobe adoraz that Sam Nunn would be a bad choice for Obama’s Veep since he was the author of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and did a lot of collateral damage during that whole episode (e.g., weakening Clinton politically) , ruggerson says this:
Response to Reply #59
62.
(snip)
If there was a Veep candidate who would put Obama over the top, but the guy was an anti semite, I would not support the choice.If there was a Veep candidate who would put Obama over the top who happened to be a racist (not likely in this scenario), I would not support the choice.
If there was a Veep candidate who would put Obama over the top who happened to be a Muslim baiter/hater, I would not support the choice.
I’m neither black, jewish or muslim. But I can’t abide bigots. We have to stand for something, otherwise we lose any shred of decency we have as human beings and as Democrats.
He can’t abide bigots, but sexists escape his radar completely. Thanks, bro. I’ll remember that.
As someone who is a woman, queer, and not white, I have been facinated at the larger LGBT+ community’s ability as a whole to fight for queer acceptance, give lip service against other isms and yet maintain a large degree of their white privilege. This is especially true if they could “pass” for straight.
Thanks very much for your comment. It’s a startling and valuable insight you share. That ole white (male) privilege is a heady, heady thing, very hard to uproot.
Unfortunately, this is very true most of the time.
The gay community tends to be very subdivided. In some of those segments there is a concern for acceptance and diversity of other men, but the concern doesn’t seem to extend to women. In other large segments of the gay community there is such an obscession with being straight acting and sometimes hypermasculine that the sexism is strong, obvious and rampant.
Back when I was volunteering in places I would frequently see lesbians taking the lead organizing for men and women, but the men tended to only organize for the men.
The organizing goals also seemed to be different. The women tended to organize to achieve systemic changes. The men just wanted visibility and acceptance, and were more willing to make compromises if it meant that “they” got accepted.
It was the (usually white) gay men who were more likely to throw others under the bus so long as they came out ahead. The women weren’t willing to even consider that kind of tactic.
Every gay man who really wants to fight homophobia should be looking at sexism and reading up on feminism.
I think you have it right when you mention that any privilege is a hard thing to give up, and even to see. I think it was Jill at Feministe (although I can’t find the quote now) who wrote that there is one clear way for any oppressed group to better their own situation- to side with the oppressor against another oppressed group. We’ve seen this attitude within feminism at times too, and although there are certainly gay men who are strong allies, I have come across a surprising misogyny in some of my gay friends. Despite his love for me, for example, a gay roommate of mine were really resistant to hearing me when I informed them that their cat-calling women was repugnant, just as it would be were they straight. They were also slow to understand that defining female anatomy as ‘gross’ was not an appropriate way of dealing with their hurt at being called ‘gross’ by some homophobic bigots.